Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Kissing Sherlock Holmes by T.D. McKinney and Terry Wylis

I will say upfront that what you get out of this book, in terms of enjoyment, will depend greatly on your expectations. If you read it tongue-in-cheek and don't take it too seriously it can be quite amusing. If you're expecting a good, engrossing mystery you can sink your teeth into, or if you're a Sherlockian who prefers pastiches that adhere more closely to the original tales, honesty compels me to say look elsewhere, the sex scenes go on for so long you might find yourself wanting to scream at Sherlock and Dr. Watson "You've got a bloody case to solve, will you just get on with it please?" But if your desire is to see Sherlock Holmes and his devoted Watson on more passionate terms, and in vivid erotic detail, this book just may be precisely your cup of tea. Now that that's been said, let's get on to the plot.

The book opens in the spring of 1896. Holmes telegraphs Watson to join him a the country estate of the Viscount of Teddington in Surrey where he has gone to ferret out a traitor who has been selling state secrets abroad. It is also the site for Holmes' upcoming nuptials, he is engaged to the daughter of the house, a beautiful, headstrong, young lady with a fire and ice personality, the honorable Miss Winnifred Farnham, and he wants Watson to be his best man.

Fully aware of his friend's well-established misogyny, Watson is amazed, and even more so when Holmes asks "My dear Watson, how does one go about kissing a woman?" When it comes to lovemaking, the great detective's knowledge is woefully lacking. Watson precedes to give Holmes a
kissing lesson, and since a tree or a cow really won't do as a substitute, he locks lips with Sherlock, and voila both discover their hidden passion and how much in love with each other they are. This sexual awakening goes on for pages and pages. Though Watson does suffer a few twinges of guilt about jeopardizing their friendship by becoming lovers and worries that if Holmes forsakes marriage he will be depriving him of the consolation of children, but these qualms aren't serious enough to deter him from acting on his newfound passion. As for Holmes, he finds Watson more exciting and addictive than cocaine.

Of course Holmes admits his engagement to Winnie is all a charade, and assures Watson, "I shall simply pretend I'm kissing you when I am with her."

As the book progresses the mystery comes more into focus. Winnie's brother, Lord Stepney, Holmes' original suspect, turns out not to be dealing in state secrets after all, only concealing a secret career as a popular pornographer who writes for both hetero and homo sexual audiences, and
the young man's Aunt Lucy becomes enamored of Watson in an always genteely expressed manner. And there are two attempts on Watson's life that make Sherlock even more determined to solve the case. And some people think the Victorian era was boring!

If you've been following this blog, then you know I won't give the ending, and the culprit's identity, away. I found this book fun at times, with likeable and sometimes intriguing characters, and tedious and predictable at others. If you do decide to give it a try, I highly recommend that you do not picture Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce during the love scenes, imagining these two locked in a passionate embrace, calling each other "darling" made me laugh so hard I hit my head on the wall. Ouch!

1 comment:

buddy2blogger said...

Despite being an avid Sherlockian, I will check out this book. Your review has whetted my interest :)